The masters tournament for Warmachine/Hordes at GenCon progresses over three days. My goal was to win my first two games, making it to the top 32 players and into the second day. I lost my first game, literally, by half an inch. My hopes were shattered by a tape measure. Figuring I had at least learned my lesson, I went on to the second game of the day, confident that I would at least get one win under my belt. And then I lost my second game because of another mistake I made.
Making a mistake in a miniatures game perturbs me. I am better than that. Those are stupid mistakes to make. The good news is that I can learn from my mistakes and come back to the board better the next time around. Screwing up in real life isn't always so kind.
I try to avoid mistakes, to avoid stepping on toes or upsetting those around me. Losing a game is easy because then the game is over. There aren't the bad feelings, hurt, pain, loss that accompany messing up with someone else. Relationships, in any manner, are much more difficult. Life is not just a game. We can't just get up and walk away when we screw up.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I screwed up with a friend. The mistake was honestly rather simple. And I'm an idiot for not seeing it. I wish I could press an easy button and reset the whole thing, just start a new game over with this new knowledge. Unfortunately life doesn't exactly work like that. Instead I must now hope and trust that the person I hurt will be willing to get over their pain, realize that I had no intention of hurting them, and accept my apology.
But as I have said, being anti-social is not the answer to this problem. Rather, I must simply learn to man up, admit my mistakes, and work dilligently to not repeat them. In the context of Warmachine, this is how players become better. In real life, it is how character is built. I have to be willing to take a couple on the chin if I am really going to improve myself.
"You have earned your pair."
-Legends, page 5
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